John Gottman, a professor emeritus of psychology at the University of Washington, spent 10 years studying 700 couples to understand the impact of positive vs. negative interactions. He found that a ratio of less than five positive interactions for every negative one predicted divorce with surprising accuracy (81-94%).
The types of negative interactions that proved most damaging included:
• Criticism – Attacks on someone’s character (e.g., “You always talk about yourself”).
• Contempt – Expressions of superiority (e.g., “You just can’t get things right”).
• Defensiveness – Shifting blame (e.g., “It’s not my fault we’re always late”).
• Stonewalling – Emotional withdrawal (e.g., ignoring the other person).
Interestingly, Gottman found that while emotional withdrawal and anger predicted later divorce (16.2 years after marriage), constant negativity led to earlier breakups (just 5.6 years). This same research applies to workplace dynamics: leaders who are critical, defensive, or disengaged risk damaging team morale and driving top talent away.
As leaders, our feedback matters more than we think. How do you create an environment where feedback fosters growth, not disengagement? 🤔
#Leadership #FeedbackCulture #WorkplaceRelationships #EmployeeEngagement #PositiveLeadership #SpectraLeadership #SpectraCoachingTips
